New Job= Drug Test

I have been a waitress for two very long years now. Lately, business has slowed down drastically. I have gone from making $100 on a four or five hour shift to being lucky if I even make $50. Because of our lack of business, a lot of hours have been cut so lately I have only been getting two, maybe three days a week. This just hasn't been working out for me. For the past few weeks I have been filling out endless amounts of applications in my desperate search for a second job and finally, it has all paid off! I landed a job at my local Winn-Dixie store. All I have to do is go behind the stock people and straighten the shelves for a whopping- drum roll, please- $8.55 an hour! The job is full-time and I have Saturdays off so that I can continue serving for extra money. It seemed like everything was finally working out, all I had to do was go and take a drug test and then return the form that says I took the drug test within the next 24 hours. Sounds pretty simple, right? Well, as always, I had to make a scene. So, I get to the drug testing place and I'm telling the lady how glad I am that I am taking the test now because I actually have to pee, and she is like "Good, then this shouldn't take too long." So I get into the little bathroom and get situated and I'm all ready to pee and then...nothing happens. So, I sit and wait...and wait...and wait...and wait until finally, I manage to squeeze about a centimeters' worth of pee out. Then I take the cup with my pee back out to the lady, all proud of what I had just done, and she stares at me like I'm an idiot and says, "That's it?" I nod my head. "Uh, it has to go up to this line, at least." she says. The line she was pointing to to was like three whole inches away from where my pee stopped- three inches is a lot when you have no pee left in you! She tells me I have to dump out the pee that I had in the cup because it all has to come out at the same time and then she hands me a bottle of water and points me to a waiting room. There I was, chugging this water, and feeling like really stupid. A few minutes later, I had finished the water and I felt like I could pee so I tried again. This time nothing at all came out! I was so frustrated and embarrassed when the lady handed me yet another bottle of water and told me to go and wait some more. As I sat in the waiting room, waiting for pee to come, people came in and out of the little office- all having successfully peed the right ammount in thier first try. I must have sat there for at least an hour before I tried again. Once again, my pee just wasn't enough. The lady told me she wasn't allowed to give me anymore water because it would delude my pee so it was up to me completely to produce the ammount I needed. I wasn't even allowed to leave and come back later because once they start the test they can't stop and if you leave, you forfeight the job. It was awful but, I sat there and waited. After a while I decided to try again. I decided that if I didn't make it this time I was just going to leave because I was going to be so embarrassed. When I went back into the tiny bathroom I prayed for pee to come. I sat there feeling like the little engine who could. "Ithink I can, I think I can," I thought and I willed my pee to come out. And then, like magic, like a gift from Above, the pee started flowing! I had finally made to the little black line! The only bad part was that before I made it into the cup, I missed and peed on my hand a little but don't worry, I washed it off. I was so triumphant when I took my pee out to the lady and she screamed "Yay, you did it!" We both had a good laugh about it so when I left I wasn't too embarrassed. Winn-Dixie, here I come! -JM